So like, theres a difference in knowing what the right thing to do is, and actually doing it. Theres no metaphor, I just want something I cant have and I think I can do whatever it takes to get it. Key word being 'think', because life is not like a movie where you know that there has to be a happy ending, hence, the protagonist must be capable. In this case, I have to become capable of being able to do whatever it takes. For now, I'm going to take a shower.